Monday, March 19, 2012

The Lies Single People Believe

Have you ever noticed that there are so many things we tell ourselves as single people to help "deal" with the singleness?
I have.
And some of them are ridiculous. 
Yet in our mind, they make complete sense.
Like this one.. “"Once I get my life on track, once I get my life together, once I accomplish (whatever) God will bring me a spouse.” 
Um. No. God is not in the business of rewarding you for getting your life on track. I feel like this kind of falls in the same category of people waiting till they have it all together to give their life to Christ.

You make fix one area, but then another may fall apart. 

Life is messy. 

I don't think it gets any easier as we go. In fact, I've noticed it just gets harder. 

I hate to tell you, but its probably never going to happen. 
If it does though, and you figure your entire life out and get it on the “right track” please email me and fill me in on how. Or just write a book. You’ll make millions.
The danger in telling yourself that you will someday have it all together is belittling what you are doing now, who you are now, and constantly telling yourself that you aren’t good enough. SUCH.A.LIE.
How about this one... “"My life is going to be great when I get married.” 
Why can’t your life be great now? 
I don’t know anything about being married. I don’t know how hard it is. I don’t know how much work it is. I also don’t know how rewarding it is.
But I know this. My life now... is good. And its life. And its happening. If I sit at home just waiting on a husband and thinking about all the things I could do when I get married...

I’ll miss it. 
I’ll miss summer nights with the windows down, blasting music with my best friend and singing at the top of my lungs. Not worried about time, or worrying someone, or where I'm going. Just being in the moment. 
I’ll miss trips with girlfriends and groups of friends and family that I’ll never be able to get back. 
I’ll miss finding God, myself, and the meaning of joy, peace, love and sacrifice. 
Don’t waste this precious time. Live it. TRULY. DEEPLY. 
(I could throw in "madly" and do a Savage Garden reference but I’ll refrain)

"If I were (skinner, prettier, funnier, more quiet, more talkative) I would be noticed more.” 
I don’t remember the moment I started letting the amount of attention I received from guys dictate how much I thought of myself but I can guarantee it was pretty early. 
And I think its time we stop. Did you know you’re beautiful?
Because you are. I don’t have to see you to know that you are beautiful.
It’s time we stop seeking to correct ourselves and start embracing the little things about ourselves that make us beautiful.

We're so good at seeing beauty in others and not ourselves.
Encourage each other. Tell your best friend she’s gorgeous. I promise, she doesn’t feel it. 
And stop being so hard on yourself. God made you the way you are FOR A REASON. 
Change it and you change the masterpiece. 
And it is a masterpiece. Promise ;)
"I could do so much more work for God if I were married.”

Maybe you could. Maybe you couldn’t. 
Paul was right when he wrote that a married woman is concerned with married things: how to please and take care of her husband, her home, her children, her family.
This is as it should be. And If I am ever so blessed to have those things, I have learned to appreciate them even before having them and know that those will be the things my heart must take care of. 
But as a single woman, my heart is concerned with you. With the women who want to know more about God. My heart is concerned with how to help you, how to pray for you, how to further his Kingdom any and every way I can. My life is concerned with filling time doing meaningful things, with laughing, with loving with my whole heart, and with going out into the world to do whatever He calls me to do.
Work now. Find what you want to do. Follow your heart and your passions and see how you can do the same. 
The reward is beyond words.
There are soooo many lies and myths out there that we tell ourselves.. but the truth of the matter is, you are single because that is God’s will for your life right now. 
Stop asking why and start asking what
What can you do?
What can you enjoy?
What can you change?
What does God want you to do with your singleness?
So let’s shut the lies up shall we ladies? Life is good. Single life can be good. And we can embrace it for whats it worth. 
Enjoy life. Love. Be joyful. Pour out into the world what God is pouring into you.


  1. This is perfect. Thank you!! I will be sharing this with EVERYONE.

  2. Your blog is such an encouragement to me as a single Christian woman. Thank you for this wonderful post!

    1. you are so welcome. Thank you for your encouragement to me :)

  3. Yes yes yes. You nailed it. Thank you.


I love hearing from you. More than you know. Leave your thoughts on the post here and check out the "Contact Me" page and shoot me an email! I wanna know you!